So, here we are just 1 week away from school starting and I find myself with so many conflicting emotions. Usually, I look forward to this time of year. School is starting back up, routines are kicking back in, football is just around the corner and I can almost taste the homemade apple cider & pumpkin pies.
As you all know by now, Summer is not my favorite season. I am not really a warm weather gal and the long unscheduled days of Summer can feel a bit daunting to me. So why the change of heart you ask? I only have 1 week left at home with my soon-to-be Kindergartener.
Yep, that's right. This Momma is fighting the back to school blues over one blue-eyed blondie and how much his life (and mine) are about to change. He is so excited packing his backpack and picking out his first day outfit and I am still trying to convince him that I'd homeschool him if he wants me to. He doesn't of course, but assures me he'll miss me and I assure him I'll cry the first (and maybe second) day of school.
We have lots of conversations about how long 8:00am-3:30pm are (Yes, we have all day Kinder) and whether or not he'll ride the bus and does this mean he can start sports now and all I can think is we may as well be filling out college applications because I know that's just around the corner. I know..."It gets easier.", you'll say - and you'd be right. This isn't my first experience with the Kindergarten blues, but I blinked and that round faced little boy walking into his first day of school is about to walk into his first day of MIDDLE SCHOOL! My Momma heart aches at how quickly these days can go by. I don't always slow down enough to realize it, but when I do it makes my head spin.
The beauty of the lives I have blessed to care for leaves me breathless and I have to admit that at times, I am afraid for them and all the ugly that this world can spew. More often than not, I wish I could freeze these days. I wish I could keep my little guy "little" and that he wouldn't have to face mean kids, broken families and the lack of morality that abounds. I wish young girls still dressed like ladies and that 1st graders didn't care about being "hot". I wish we still used and taught manners, that we didn't accept disrespect or foul language, and that the future for our kids looked a little brighter than the news portrays these days.
And for now I guess, that's all I can do. Wish and pray. And so I will, I will pray for my kiddos and yours. For the ones down the street and across the globe. The ones who are afraid and hungry, the ones without parents, the abused and forgotten. I will pray for them all and I will keep praying until I feel a little less powerless and a lot more brave.