Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Valentine Your Husband Won't Throw Away

I know this an odd way to start a post on Valentine's Day, but let me just say that I am so thankful for the women in my life.  I have great friends that are in the trenches of toddler-hood right along with me and some amazing women that have been there, done that and are enjoying their grandchildren, and of course a great many that are somewhere in between.  I appreciate the perspective and encouragement these women bring to my life. 

I need mom friends that have grown children and can encourage me to enjoy each day and assure me that I will miss all the craziness of today. I also need mommies to share potty training horror stories with and to call for prayer when I have locked myself in the bathroom for a "mommy time out".  And sometimes, the friends I need the most are the ones that aren't quite finished with raising their little ones, but are just far enough down the road to convince me to keep going. Amen?

Ok, that being said, the following post is an outline given to me by an older, wiser woman a year or so ago about how to really write a love letter to your husband. It has been a blessing to me and I hope it helps you, too!

The Valentine Your Husband Won't Throw Away

Our goal today is to write a letter to our husbands that will communicate to him our love in a way that touches his heart.  We want to use words that speak love to him.

Take a minute and write down several things you respect about your husband.  It's not easy, because we don't think like they do.  We need to look at our basic differences so we can understand what respect really means and apply it to our lives.  

This is an important concept.  When we show our husbands respect, it motivates him to love us God's way!  It draws him to us!! Did you hear that?  Read it again. When we show our husbands respect, it motivates him to love us God's way and it draws him to us.

Our husbands need to hear how we respect him, expressed as just that.  Make a list, "I respect you for...."  Keep in mind his masculine characteristics.

Are you READY?  Write him a LOVE LETTER and use the word Respect.  Tell him in words he will understand.  When you touch his heart, he will bend over backwards to show his love to you!
You could say something like, "I really respect you for ________", "I admire you for ___________", "Signed respectfully, ______________", "The one who admires you, ________________".

A big word of caution.  You are going to get a very positive reaction if you choose to speak his language to him so it needs to be from your heart and not just a one time thing.  Trust me, if you pray about it and continue to grow in this area, your marriage will be so richly blessed! It may feel like you are manipulating him, but if you are honest in what you write, and your only intention is to have a better marriage, I assure you that you are not.  You are learning to speak his language. Your words will touch his heart, just as his "sweet nothings" can touch yours.

I admittedly only wrote one love letter like this to my husband, however; I have let this advice change the way I communicate with my husband on a daily basis. This small piece of advice has enriched our marriage in so many ways.  I have been blessed to learn how to better communicate with Eric, and learned to avoid many arguments that had centered around him feeling disrespected at times because of my approach to certain things.  I love my husband. He makes me feel safe, secure, loved and cherished. Why wouldn't I want him to feel the same?

So, if you have waited until the last minute to think about Valentine's Day (or not), why not take a few minutes and write him a love letter now? I promise you will not be disappointed, and neither will he!

Today's post is linked up with Time-Warp Wife

1 comment:

  1. Good words, Ashley. I looked at cards today for Tim but the one I chose was $6.99!! Get out! Much better to write something from my heart - thanks for the outline.