Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Who's failing who?

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, new every morning. Great is Thy faithfulness Oh Lord, Great is Thy faithfulness."

I went to bed mad. I hoped I would wake up mad. I was in a bad mood and I didn't care. I had been let down, wronged & hurt by a loved one....again. I felt I was justified in my anger and I was going to hold onto it and wallow in it as long as I could. "Hurt me, and you'll pay. You'll see. You won't get close anymore, I won't let you." That doesn't sound very much like Christ does it? I didn't think so, either. But those were the thoughts swirling in my mind as I fell asleep, refusing to pray, refusing to be humbled and not exactly sure what today would bring.

Well, wouldn't you know it, I did wake up mad. Not mad at the other person or the situation or the wound left behind. I was mad at me. This song was on my heart and in my mouth as soon as I woke up this morning. "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases..." and I was convicted. I knew I had been so hurt by the situation I was in because I had put my hope in another, and they failed me. Not because I am not loved, not because they are a failure, but because I failed to put my trust in the One who will never let me down. I have looked to my husband, children, parents, friends, siblings and others in my life to fulfill this need from time to time and I always end up hurt, vowing never to let them in, never to be set up for such a disappointment again. And I am wrong every time. I am in fact the one who is failing. Failing to give grace and mercy, failing to have appropriate expectations of others and ultimately failing to go to my Father first and failing to ask Him to fill me up.

And so, I will ask for forgiveness from my Father, receive His love & grace and then pour it out onto others. I will work to keep my expectations in line with reality and I will walk through today knowing that I am a daughter of the King. I am cherished, loved & precious in His sight....and so are you!

No comments:

Post a Comment